Managing the transition back home
A period of time at university probably means that you've changed. What you may not realise is that your parents may have changed as well. Your relationship with them may change, too. This can be a great experience, if you are ready for it and can make a few preparations.
Prepare for change
The first thing that sets up many students for a rough first summer home is that they are blind-sided by change. Being prepared for it (setting your mind for it and making plans to smooth the transition) is the first, most important step.
It may also be worth considering whether you want to spend all of the summer at home. It may be easier on you and your parents if you break up the long summer holiday. You may even want to spend most of your summer in Derby with just some short visits home. This is ok. It is part of the maturing process that you are going through.
If you do decide to go home here are some things to remember that can make the transition easier for everyone.
You've changed - You may be more independent
You may think for yourself more than when you were last living at home. Your parents may not be ready for this change in you. They may expect you to need them as much as you did before you left. It may be a difficult transition for them to accept you as an independent person with views possibly different from theirs, a person who can stand on his/her own.
Appearance
Not only have your views changed, you may not even look the same! This can be a real shock to your parents and school friends. Although you may feel the same, be prepared for reactions from others. If you have made dramatic changes in appearance let your family know before you go home so they are ready for what they see.
Talk to your parents
Many problems can be avoided by a simple conversation. Start including your parents in your new life by talking about it. Talk about your course, your new friends and your goals. This is a time that can be both scary and exciting. You can make it less scary by talking openly.
Whose house is it?
The place you grew up in will become less "my house" and more "my parent's house" every time you go home. More and more, your place will be where you live and keep your stuff. Just as you want friends to respect your place when they visit where you live, respect your parent's place as well.
Start the transition during the December break
This is a fantastic time to implement some strategies, easing into a new life back home. During this time you may feel very little change. You've only been gone a few months and you're only visiting a few weeks. The upcoming summer will be more challenging. Avoid some of the stress then by being proactive now.
Be prepared for a change in culture
Many students are going home to towns or villages with smaller populations than that of the university. The populations not only differ in numbers, but cultural norms as well.
