Family
Some LGBT students will already be out to their family before leaving to come to university.
Many will leave home and spend some time at university discovering more about themselves before being confident enough to come out to friends in Derby and their family and friends back home.
Others decide to remain in the closet at home but to be out at university and come to university with this intention.
There is no right way to be in this situation. Only you can judge the circumstances of your own life and family and coming out should occur at a pace with which you are comfortable.
Things to bear in mind:
- You are an adult now and responsible for your own life. The wishes and hopes of your parents may well be very important to you but you are entitled to decide how you live your life.
- It is, however, also true that not all parents react well to learning that their child is gay. If you are dependent on your parents for financial support this may well be an obstacle for you coming out and living as you want to live. If this is the case some financial support may be available to you from within the university. Please contact us in the Student Wellbeing Service to discuss this.
- It is possible to live two lives but this can be a strain. You will have to constantly edit what you tell your family about your university life, friends etc. You may also need to think about how you organise visits by your parents to you at university. Of course many LGBT people have had to spend years living double lives and have managed this successfully - it isn't ideal but it is possible. You may find that accessing support helps you to manage the strains of this situation.
- If you do decide to come out to your family you may find some of the information listed here helpful.
