Coming out
Coming out is obviously a process that does not happen just once, it continues throughout your life.
You may or may not already be out to family and friends back home. When you come to university you will also have to decide whether or not to be open about your sexuality with flatmates, course mates, other friends, teaching and support staff.
There is, of course, no requirement for you to discuss your sexuality with anyone nor should you feel the need to deny or hide who you are.
The University of Derby is proud of its diversity and we believe we are better for having students and staff from different backgrounds, beliefs, cultures and who have diverse sexuality. We are keen to support you through the transition of coming to university, exploring your sexuality and coming out when the time is right for you.
We do not tolerate any form of homophobic bullying or harassment and if you encounter this you should report it to a member of staff or the Student Union right away.
Some things to think about when deciding to come out:
- Make sure you are comfortable with your sexuality first. It can be difficult for people to understand and accept you for who you are, if you don't accept it yourself. If you are uncertain or uncomfortable with your sexuality you may want to explore this with one of our counsellors.
Call 01332 591317 to make an appointment.
- 'Test the water'
Sometimes, just dropping hints to a friend/relative is enough to start the ball rolling.
- Be ready for questions
Your friends/relatives are likely to be curious and may need more information to help them understand.
- Be prepared for a bad reaction
Unfortunately, not everyone takes the news well. Make sure you are emotionally prepared for that. It probably will not come to that, but it's best to consider a 'worse case scenario' and work out how to deal with the emotions involved with that before the event.
- You may lose a friend
Some people's views on homosexuality are so deep-rooted that nothing you say or do will reassure them. However, you must remember that it's their problem, not yours. If you do lose friends, it can hurt at the time but in the end, the pain of staying closeted can be deeper, last for longer and may damage you more.
- It may be easier to join the LGBTF Society first so that you know you have some sympathetic peers before coming out to others. Further information on the society can also be found here.
