Once your child has started university
Encourage your child to be independent
If your child is encountering problems resist the urge to get involved until they have done everything they can to resolve the problem. Direct them to the support available within the University so that we can help them to reach a resolution.
Look after yourself
Knowing that you are ok and enjoying life can reassure them that they don't need to worry about you. Many students worry unduly about their parents and this can add to their stress levels and make it more difficult for them to settle into University life. It is good to know that you will miss them but that you will be ok and that they don't have to worry about you.
Stay in touch but give them space to breathe
It is important to maintain a healthy balance of communication so that your child feels in touch with you but also feels free to live their own life. Discuss this with your child and agree between you how often you will talk on the phone, email or update facebook etc.
Keep them in the loop
Even though your child may be living elsewhere, they need to feel connected with their family. This will be especially important at times when your child is impacted by significant life events and during anniversaries and other important occasions. Let your child know that they are still part of the family, and keep them informed and included in important family decisions, activities and updates.
Give your child options
Discuss with them how they want to spend anniversaries, holidays, and other important dates. Give your child the option of spending these dates at home with you or with their friends at university. It is important that they feel that they are able to make the choice.
Promote positive relationships
Encourage your child to develop friendships and build a support system outside the family by getting involved in campus life. Ask them about their social life and friends. If possible allow them to invite friends to your home on weekends or holidays. Close social relationships and supports are very important during potentially stressful years at university.
